Clearing the Storm
by thebluestbird
Summary: She watches every one of his small modest movements, and slowly, with each heart-rending moment, she suffers with him.
1. Chapter 1

**Clearing the Storm**

_But I set fire to the rain,_

_Watched it pour as I touched your face,_

_Well, it burned while I cried_

_'Cause I heard it screaming out your name, your name!_

- Adele

The thunder was deafening and the rain was pouring heavily, the night was as black as an empty pit. He ran rapidly, not stopping. His body pushing and pushing as the world felt cold to him as his heart shattered. His breaths were heavy and uneven, his tears trickling freely, blending in with the cold rain. His short black hair matted to his forehead, his figure quivering with misery and rage. He couldn't believe that this was happening to him.

He felt so broken, so lonesome.

His body held him captive, taking him to a place it thought could help him, but he isn't aware of where he's going – he couldn't think about anything but the images dancing around in his head, their voices jumping around, her name being screamed, taunting him and laughing at him.

At last, pushing his long legs faster, he was in front of the white petite wooden house, he ran up to the porch and knocked heavily twice. He stood there waiting. His body aching, his mind running in circles, he couldn't believe what was happening, he couldn't believe he was in this mess, this just couldn't be happening – he didn't deserve this. The wooden door slowly opened to reveal the dry, caramel coloured Leah Clearwater, sleep written all over her features.

"Jacob? What are you doing here?" she asked, worry and confusion evident in her voice. As her sleep hazed waved off she noticed how pained he looked. Jacob did not answer her, he looked into her eyes and slowly fell to his knees, his palms laid down flat on the porch floor, and his head heavy.

The thunder roared as Jacob's heart cracked. The rain was beating down too hard for their sensitive ears. Leah stared at him in shock, having no idea why Jacob was on his knees, she had seen him early that morning, happy and joyful like he normally was.

Jacob placed his hand on his chest and let out an agonizing scream.

"Jacob!" Leah yelled as she fell to her knees beside him. She moulded her body to his, shaking his shoulders.

"Jake what's wrong?" She begged. She couldn't see him hurt like this; she cared way too much for him.

"Jacob? Jacob Black?" She yelled. She quickly cupped his cheeks and lifted his head; looking into his puffy rimed, brown chocolate eyes, as tears rolled down freely, he looked defeated, dead inside.

"Leah..." He spoke softly as his body went rigid, his eyes shut as he leant into her warm body.

"Help me..." he whispered, so lightly she barely caught it.

Leah wrapped her arms around his neck and hugged him close; his bare wet chest soaking her shirt and shorts.

"Don't worry I'm here." She murmured into his ear, and the two held on tightly to one another, as Jacob's muscular body shook with heart breaking sobs.

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I do not own anything Twilight related, only the plot of this story is mine.

This is going to be left as a one-shot, if there are many requests to continue on with this, I will gladly do so!

- Ozlem Y


	2. Chapter 2

_It was a strange reaction for someone like you to remain on side and in a chain reaction I was down and calling for a place to hide._

- Coldplay

His once sun kissed healthy skin was now sickly pale, his muscular body entangled in the white sheets, tossing and turning every few seconds. His facial expressions wounded and his lip curled in a frown which, along with the barely noticeable skin wrinkles on his forehead, did not suit the young man. His now dried up hair was everywhere as he kept tossing about. His eyes shut firmly, stirring under his lids as he dreamed a horrendously dreadful nightmare. His fist clenches tightly to his side as his knuckles pale. Slowly, he lugs his semi unconscious muscular body to one side as he whimpers softly.

She watches silently as she has been for the last several, slow, tender hours. She greedily observes each and every modest movement, like the way he held his breath when his body would freeze up and how he would only utter a single poisonous word, which broke his swift heart or the way his naked chest heaves up and down heavily as the hushed salty tears cascade down his narrow cheeks. She watches every one of these things, and slowly, with each heart-rending moment, she suffers with him.

And as his heart throbs rapidly against his rib cage, he sobs uncontrollably, causing his entire frame to shake and, as it gets worse, she captures his cold hands into her warm ones and kisses each finger softly. In the end she brings her lips to his palm and kisses it delicately, letting her dry lips linger for awhile. She starts running her warm thin fingers through his short, black, disarrayed hair, trying desperately to sooth him.

But as the time passes it gets challenging for him to even breathe and, as it gets harder for him to control the never ending nightmare, he leans into her warmth.

She's now in the white, messy sheets with him, moulding her petite body to his side perfectly, running her fingers along his strong jaw line and then back up to his hair, he leans his heavy head on her chest and breathes in and out deeply. Her chin rests on top of his head and every few seconds she leans down to plant a kiss to his forehead and finally, when his body loses the energy to fight, he falls into the world of darkness.

"AHHH!" he shouts in misery as his entire body jolts upward, causing the sleeping woman beside him to wake up. His hands rub against his face roughly as he desperately wishes for the awful images in his head to cease to exist. He brings his sore legs up to his heavy chest and wraps his arms around them, gently rocking himself as his body shudders with heartache.

"Jacob?" Leah whispers from behind, she strokes his back slowly, in a soothing gesture, but Jacob Black felt nothing but agonizing pain. His pulse beat deafeningly in his ear as he keeps rocking himself back and forth, his rhythm getting faster, trying desperately to wake up from the god awful nightmare.

"This is just a bad dream; it's just a really bad dream..." he chants faintly as his body continues to rock. Leah moves in front of him, trying to get him out of this state of shock, knowing that she was losing him.

"Jacob, Jacob please look at me." She begs.

"No! It's just a dream! This is not happening to me! This is just an awful dream!" He lashes out, as he quivers in sorrow.

Leah stares as tears run silently down her flushed cheeks because, for once in her life, she feels scared. She doesn't know what to do. His aggrieved expressions, his every move to every word, from every pained breath to all the tears, eating her alive, his pain was her pain and she felt scared because he was never like this; so broken, so vulnerable and fragile – this wasn't the Jacob Black she knew and that terrified her. She knew to the core of her being that something, more so someone had caused this pain, someone had hurt her Jacob, someone had hurt the very being she was in love with. Someone was killing a part of her.

"Please Jake...you're scaring me." She whispers. Jacob looks up as if he just noticed that he wasn't alone. He stares at her in vain, looking into her eyes; while so many emotions run free.

"When does the pain stop?" He asks his voice deep and parched.

She looks at him as her eyes water, she takes her shaky hand to her chest and feels her heart beat quicken; she closes her eyes as the tears roll down. She wishes she could tell him that it was going to get better, that time would heal all wounds but she couldn't because it had been years and still her heart is wounded.

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Thank you for all the lovely reviews! The feedback was so great that I will definitely continue this story!

A big thank you to my beta for fixing up all my mistakes!


	3. Chapter 3

_I can't tell you what it really is, I can only tell you what it feels like. _

- Eminem

She examined tenderly, every move and every breath he took, letting her slim fingers flowed through his tangled black hair. His face set like stone as his body lay there quietly. His fingers flat on top of the white messy sheets. There were blue and purple circles under his eyes. He looked so... empty. She really didn't want to wake him since it has been the first time that he is sleeping softly since he has knocked on her front door that awful night, but she had too.

"Jacob?" She whispered, her fingers still combing through his hair. Leah's free, warm, tender hand took one of his cold ones.

"Jacob?" She said a little louder as she squeezed his hand securely. Jacob tossed around a little as he sweepingly opened his eyes. He blinked a few times, trying to adjust to the light, finally his eyes landed on her face and he just gazed at her, not blinking for a few seconds.

A few minutes passed in stillness as Leah waited for him to speak but he didn't say a word, he just stared openly at her. Realizing that he wasn't going to speak, she took a deep breath and shook her head a little, trying to collect herself.

"Are you hungry?" She asked as she avoided the enormous elephant in the room. He just stared at her, still not speaking.

"Jacob?" She whispered "Are you okay?"

Once again she was met with silence.

"Please Jacob, say something." She begged as she slowly stroked his sturdy cheeks.

And as her eyes plead for him to say a word he unhurriedly got out of bed and strolled to the door, his body sluggish and weak as he tried not to tip over. When he reached the door, he leaned to his left side, letting the frame hold his weight. He stood there, silent, as the two heard the life of the woods which was near Leah's home, and they could even smell the salty sea through Leah's wide open window.

His back was to her as she burned him with her narrowed eyes, waiting impatiently for him to speak.

"Please just say something." She spat finally, her blood boiling.

And so, painfully slowly, he turned around to face her. His brown eyes glared at her as his anger rose. His hands shook slightly as he felt the well known fire shooting down his spine.

"You knew!" He yelled at the confused woman.

"What are you talking about?" She slowly got off the bed and came to stand in front of him.

"Don't bullshit me Leah!" He yelled as his arms flew around his body, which was still shaking.

"Jacob I –" He cut her off rudely.

"How dare you look me in the eye and lie?" He screamed as his massive hands held on to her toned arms. He held firmly, actually hurting her, but she was too consumed by his odd behaviour towards her to feel any physical pain at the moment. What had she done? If anything she has been trying to comfort him, she didn't do anything wrong.

"I didn't do anything." She spat out as she struggled against his tense hold.

"Liar! Liar, liar, liar!" He shoved her into the nearest wall harshly. His eyes were dark and he couldn't think straight, he wasn't Jacob anymore; he was a madman, a man who'd seen too much in his life.

Her head hit the white wall, leaving a dent.

"Jacob, let go!" She yelled; actually feeling the pain that shot up to her head. But he didn't listen; he kept shoving her into the wall, each shove becoming stronger as the pain increased.

"You're lying to me! Stop lying!" He kept screaming, his voice thick with hurt and rage.

"Jake...stop, you're hurting me." She whimpered. He stopped immediately; realizing what he was doing. He was disgusted with himself. He never wanted to hurt Leah, but she knew...she knew all along... he knew she knew! She had to have known – right?

Jacob fell to his knees, and started breathing in and out slowly, trying desperately to calm himself. Slowly Leah fell to her knees in front of him.

"What's going on?" she asked; her voice low. She was so confused, and what exactly was she supposed to have known? What was she lying about?

"You knew...you lied to me...stop lying..._please_." His voice broke. His hands rubbing his flushed face roughly.

"Jake, I don't know! I swear on my life that I have no idea what you're talking about." She told him, pulling his hands firmly away from his face so she could look into his eyes.

"Tell me." She demanded. "Tell me so I can help you." Concern evident in her voice, he looked into her eyes and slowly he tried to explain.

"She...he...they...I...it hurt...seeing them..." he began, becoming incoherent as his heart started to tighten and he couldn't tell her what happened, he could only tell her what it felt like, so he changed into his spirit animal and played what he had seen and felt that awful night.

Her paws hit the earth heavily as she ran, pushing and pushing herself faster. She couldn't believe what Jacob had told her, there was no way that this had really happened – _but it did_. He showed her everything, he had the proof.

She stopped a few feet away from the house as she put her clothes on. She started walking fast and picked up the closet rock she could see. She threw the heavy rock with all her might, satisfied when the glass door cracked to pieces.

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Thank you for the reviews!

At this point in my life I'm having some health issues, meaning the next few chapters will be coming in slowly.


	4. Chapter 4

**SORRY! I know I suck at updating, but life gets in the way sometimes! I kinda had writers block too...so yeah, this might suck. Anyways thanks for all the reviews! You guys are awesome!**

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Chapter 4

"What the hell!?" Reneesme shrieked as she ran out, her short white dress was hugging all her light curves, her long copper curls trickled down to the middle of her back; the ends blew lightly, playing with the breeze. Looking at Leah, the shock and fear was evident in her chocolate brown eyes, but she hurried to hide it, not wanting to show weakness.

"You fucking whore!" Leah snarled as she stomped heavily in front of the young girl, feeling the moist mud clutch to her feet. She was quivering with fury as she fisted her hands making them turn pale white.

"Excuse me!" Reneesme boomed, as she came closer to Leah, their noses almost touching.

"Go ahead hit me," Leah began, smiling evilly. "You don't know how much I want you to hit me. One hit and you're fucking _mine_." Leah whispered. She knew if Reneesme hit her first, she wouldn't be breaking the treaty –if she even punched Leah lightly, Leah had the right to rip her to shreds. You couldn't hurt any of your pack brothers imprints, but Reneesme was not an imprint anymore –she was fair game now.

"I'm not –" Reneesme was cut short as _he_ marched out.

"Get inside." He said firmly to the young girl.

"But –"

"Get inside." He cut her off again, and she slowly walked back in to her wooden cabin.

"Leah." He nodded as his tall frame made its way down the wooden stairs.

"Its true isn't it?" Leah asked bitterly, cutting right to the chase - she knew it was true, she'd seen it all in Jacob's mind, but she just needed to hear _him_ say it.

"I never wanted it to happen like this; I never intended to hurt anyone, especially Jacob." He explained, his expression pained, his eyes holding so much sorrow.

"But you did. You hurt him more than anyone can ever damage him!" Leah spat, her voice filled with resentment and sadness.

"Leah –"

"How could you do this? What the fuck were you thinking?" She cut him off rudely.

"I –" He started again, but Leah wasn't having any of it.

"I'm disgusted and utterly shocked. I can't even wrap my mind around it. _You_ of all people?" Leah exhaled.

"How? When? Why?" Leah ranted as she phased back and forth, in front of the young man.

"Leah, I –" He started again, but Leah didn't listen, she kept on ranting, blaming herself for not seeing this sooner.

"It doesn't make sense. You just can't be with her." Leah stated.

"I love her." He spoke, his eyes glowing with the love and affection he held for the young girl who was waiting for him inside.

The two stood facing each other silently as the young boy waited for Leah to say something. But minutes passed as Leah stared at him with wide eyes, still not speaking.

"You can't love her." She eventually whispered. "You can't do this." She said as she unhurriedly walked up to him. Tilting her head upwards when she came too close, so she could look into his brown eyes. "I'm not going to stand back and watch you do something so _stupid_, and so _thoughtless_." She spat out the words, as if they were burning her tongue.

"I don't regret anything." He told the frustrated woman. "I'm in love with her." He repeated as he watched Leah shake with rage. In a swift movement, Leah grabbed the collar of his shirt, shaking him quickly; hopeful that maybe the gesture would knock some sense into that thick head of his.

"You're hurting him!" She hollered, continuing to shake him. The young boy grabbed her wrists forcefully and pulled them to her sides, not letting go.

"I...I –I don't care..." He whispered avoiding eye contact. He was upset with the truth of his words, but he was in love, there wasn't much else he could do.

"He's your _Alpha_, your _friend_, your _brother_!" She boomed, her eyes glazing with rage.

"I don't care." He said it firmly this time, holding his head higher as he looked into her eyes.

In that intense moment Leah's warm hand flew across his strong face. The contact of their skin creating a loud sound and she was pretty sure she'd broken his left cheek bone.

He automatically cupped his cheek as he watched her, shock written all over his features. This was the first time she had raised a hand to _him_.

She breathed in and out heavily as her hand throbbed with pain. She looked into his eyes as she spat out the words that would make a chunk of his heart shatter.

"You're dead to me, _Seth_. Dead." And walked away, exploding into the fury of the animal she was and ran, letting the crushed image of her brother dance away with the wind.

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**REVIEWS = LOVE.**

**Ohh if any of you guys read Me or Her, the amazing L.C got someone to do a banner for me! Its amazing I love it! Check it out, its on my profile!**


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: So this was fast, I was listening to the amazing Alicia Keys, and this chapter just came flowing out! So there is smut towards the end...maybe I should stick to the things I know...anyways tell me if you like it! A big thank you to my beta, for being amazing! **

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Chapter 5

_Have you ever tried sleeping with a broken heart?  
Well you could try sleeping in my bed..._

_Alicia Keys "Try Sleeping With a Broken Heart"_

The night was dark, the wind sings piercingly through the gloomy woods. Leah breathes in and out deeply, the fog of her searing breath dances in front of her moist eyes, as she goes on walking. She does not think, nor does she care what time it is, or where she is.

The only thing she can rely on is the way everything feels.

The way the damp mud wraps around her feet or the way the wind coldly kisses her naked toned body and the way the extended arms of the trees scratch her back and her lengthy arms. She feels the rawness of the bark underneath her warm palms. But most importantly she can feel the hole within her chest.

Nothing matters except the feel of everything around her as she continues to walk.

*

Hours pass by when she finally makes her way home. Her pace is slow and dead as she walks up the wooden stairs. She unlocks the door and walks in, shutting the door behind her and locking it before turning around to face the darkness of her living room.

She freezes in her spot. Pressing her warm, naked back against the cold wooden door her fist still tightly around the knob. She feels her knees give out. She was tired, not only emotionally, but physically too. Everything was becoming too much for her. It wasn't fair that someone so young had the weight of the world on their shoulders, but that was life, it just wasn't fair. It never was.

Taking a few minutes to just be, she starts collecting herself, knowing that there was someone upstairs, who needed her. That person was in pain. The same pain she felt and still in some ways feels.

The salty tears and damage which love leaves behind is unbearable, almost making you regret falling in love in the first place.

She knew the pain Jacob was going through all too well, the way the heart burns and aches for something to stop the frantic beating as the endless blood keeps pulsing through the bottomless wounds. The way everything triggers the uncontrollable stinging, but most importantly she knew the feeling of loneliness that love leaves behind. How you feel so unloved and uncared for, how you feel like you're the only being going through something so heart wrenching, so deadly.

Her head starts throbbing so she enters the shower quickly, turning on the shower as soon as she's in. She lets the burning water sting her skin as she washes the mud away. She slowly cleans up; making sure everything is out of her hair. When the water goes cold she swiftly gets out. Wrapping her white towel tightly around herself, brushes her hair and teeth before entering her room quietly; not wanting to wake the sleeping figure in her bed, she grabs a long shirt and underwear and leaves to get dressed in the bathroom.

When done, she re-enters her room, tip toes to her bed and slips in slowly. Once in the warm bed, she faces Jacob; his eyes are shut firmly as his eye lids stir around, like he's having an awful nightmare.

Slowly she comes closer to him, wrapping her arms around his weak body.

As she gets closer, Jacob automatically relaxes; both breathe in each other's scent and fall into a deep slumber, trying to escape the harsh world – even if only for a few hours.

*

Leah's eyes flutter open, it's still way too early, but she feels an intense feeling urging her to wake. When her vision adjusted, she sees Jacob Black looking deeply at her. His expression uncertain. Slowly he leans towards her. Settling his forehead on hers.

"Jake..." Leah manages to whisper. He does not reply as he keeps looking into her eyes, slowly, without breaking the eye contact he kisses her. The kiss is rough and powerful, desperate and seeking.

They both break apart for air, and Leah does not know what to say. Jacob on the other hand starts to trail kisses down her long neck.

"Jake..." She moans, her body reacting before her mind.

He sucks harder, as he straddles her, running his hands over her shirt, and finally reaching the hem. He tugs upward but is stopped when Leah freezes beneath him.

"Jacob?" She questions, she doesn't know what he was doing, and they were already going too far.

"Feel..." He mumbles as he reaches for her shirt again.

"What?" Leah asks; the confusion evident in her voice. He does not say anything as he reaches for her shirt yet again.

"Jacob!" She yells; frustrated. She pulls his face to meet hers. They look into each other's eyes, and Leah's heart breaks a little.

"I need to feel Leah. I need to feel something..." He whispers.

They both stay still, and slowly she nods her head. With that Jacob proceeds to take her shirt off. Once he gets rid of the fabric, he attacks her right breast, sucking and nibbling roughly.

She moans with pleasure and pain, arching her back. Jacob continues to suck as Leah finds the hem of his shirt, she pulls it off quickly and wraps her arms around his warm back as she pulls herself to his lips; once again they kiss, his tongue strokes hers lightly.

Jacob goes back down, kissing his way to her warm wet centre. He pulls off her soaked underwear quickly, as soon as the fabric is out of the way, he attacks her pussy. Sucking and licking all her sweet juice.

"Jake!" Leah moans loudly, grabbing his mop of hair and shoving his face deeper. Her hips bucking. His tongue driving her crazy.

"More..." She pants. "I need more Jake!" She begs embarrassingly but once Jacob enters two fingers, she could care less.

"Ohhh...yes...yes" She moans louder when he curves his fingers.

Unable to take it anymore, she changes their position. Flipping them over so that she's on top, she quickly removes the rest of his clothing. Her pussy gets even wetter, throbbing with heat, craving him in her.

She grabs his thick, hard cock and lifts herself in the air. She guides him to her wet entrance and, painfully slowly, she lowers herself. Jacob's eyes shut closed.

Her walls swallow him, welcoming him into the world of her warmness. When he's fully in she stops moving. She leans her body downwards; laying on top of him, still connected. It's physically hard for her not to ride the shit out of him, but she needs a response from Jacob. Just a soft grunt would be fine with her.

She lies there as her walls throb against his hard cock. Her breathing heavy, as she waits for him. Seconds don't even pass, as he whispers:

"Please Leah..." and with that he grabs her ass, squeezing it hard; encouraging her to move.

Leah, without further thought, starts moving her hips.

"Fuck..." She moans at the feel of him moving in her. She digs her nails into his shoulders, causing him to hiss with pain and pleasure.

She starts grinding harder into him, Jacob meeting with her hips.

"Shit Lee..." He whispers, feeling the pit of his stomach tightening, when she starts doing circular motions.

"I'm close..." Leah pants. Jacob wraps his mouth around Leah's breast, sucking her nipple hungrily.

Leah picks up her pace; bouncing up and down, making their skin pound into each other's. Leah's walls pulsed around his throbbing cock, and with one bite from Jacob Black, an orgasm hits her hard, making her scream, falling limp on top of him.

_And I could find a way to make it.  
I'll make it without you tonight.  
So tonight, I'm gonna find a way to make it without__ you._

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**Okay, tell me what you think!**

**smut or no smut?**

**REVIEWS=LOVE**


	6. Chapter 6

**Yeah, I know its been too long! It's Monday and I have no school, cause it's FAMILY DAY, so happy Family Day! Thanks to all the reviews and support for this fic, I'm going to tell you now that you might cry! This fic is based on two broken souls. I've never had my heart broken because of a relationship, but I've had shit happen to me and I've lost a ton of friendships, I've been through pain and I tried to make the pain real, and I hope it's believable! **

**A big thanks to my beta, I don't know how she can handle my horrible writing, but she does and I love her tons for not giving up on me!**

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Chapter 6

_Music starts playing like the end of a sad movie,  
it's the kinda ending you don't really wanna see,  
cause its tragedy and it'll only bring you down._

_Breathe – Taylor Swift_

In La Push the not so warm sun was setting, showering the cloudy sky a delicious orange mixed with a sweet cotton candy pink while the unwelcoming cold green sea slammed against the rough edges of the massive rocks near the bottom of the cliffs.

Jacob Black was sitting on top of the highest cliff in La Push. The grass he was sitting on was damp; the air was cold, planting icy kisses on his bare golden chest and back. The feeling was delightful, different than what he's been feeling for the last few days, and was still feeling. He was an empty shell, alone, and dead. It seemed like there was nothing important anymore, nothing seemed to matter. His world was dark, no; his world was gone. The moment _she_ had rejected him, his world had died. Everything died. Now he was nothing. He couldn't shrug it off, how can you shrug something like this off? How can you go back to normal when your soul mate leaves you? When your reason of living doesn't want you anymore, what do you do? How do you survive? You can't. There's just no way.

Or, at least, no way that he knew about. He could no longer think about anything but the hurting and grief.

He lay back down gently on his bare back, the cool moist grass making him shiver, his long lean legs dangling off the cliff's edge. He looked up to the sky, which was quickly darkening with each long passing minute. He shut his tired eyes tightly, a few salty tears escaped. He was tired of crying, but it seemed like that's the only thing he could do. He just felt like rolling into a ball and crying, praying that everything would disappear when his eyes dried. Right then he didn't even wish to get back to Nessie; he just wanted the pain to go away. He wanted some peace and quiet. He wanted the tears to stop. He wanted to feel something other than hate and sorrow. He would accept anything, _anything_ that could take away the emptiness, the loneliness, even if it was only for an hour or two.

"Jake?" Leah's soft voice broke his thoughts. He opened his eyes weakly; she was standing over him, looking down. Her face was blank, but he could see the concern in her bright eyes. Leah was his best friend, and more in so many different ways. They'd been together for so many years, been through so much. Now, looking back, he realized that Leah was always there for him, _always_, yet he'd never noticed before now that he owed her a lot, for everything she'd ever done for him.

"Can I join you?" She asked. Jacob nodded, sitting up as she sat down close to him, shoulders and long lean legs brushing against each other.

"How are you feeling?" She whispered into the cold night.

"You have no idea how much pain I'm in." Jacob answered, looking straight ahead, and taking a deep breath.

"I think I can relate." Leah replied, turning her head to face him; he was still looking ahead.

Jacob started to chuckle, the sound bitter and unfeeling.

"You could never understand what I'm going through; your soul mate never left you for your brother." He told her, still looking straight ahead, eyes darkening and tightening, willing the tears to go away.

His words stung. She knew what he was implying. She knew he meant that the pain Sam and Emily had caused her was nothing compared to his. He was _wrong _though_, _so_ wrong_. The pain Sam and Emily had caused was _still_ alive, still floating through her veins, and haunting her dreams. The pain was indescribable and if anyone could relate to him, it was _her_, because her pain was equal to what he was going through right now.

"Your right." She snapped. "My boyfriend of four years leaving me for my own_ blood_, someone I've spent my whole childhood with, that someone I considered a _sister_. It's completely different than what you're feeling." The venom and sarcasm was dripping heavily from her mouth.

He finally turned his head to stare at her, fury in his eyes: this was imprinting, gravity not being able to hold you to the earth love, not some high school sweetheart love. He was about to speak, but Leah wasn't done talking.

"But wait!" She dragged out the words. "The pain of knowing that I killed my own father on top of Sam leaving and Emily's betrayal still doesn't compare to the pain you're in, right?" Her slim hands were quivering softly and she rolled her eyes.

"Try having your own mother against you! She was never on my side! I am _her_ daughter, but she was always on Emily's side, helping Emily with her wedding, cooking with Emily, going out with Emily! Emily, the daughter she fucking wish she had! Emily, Emily, Emily! What the fuck does Emily have that I don't?!" Her eyes started tearing up and her breathing became short and sharp.

"You foolish imbecile." She continued in a softer voice as the sadness began to set in.

"You think you're in pain now, wait until you get the wedding invitation, wait until they have a child, wait until they think it's acceptable and honourable to name it after you." Tears cascaded down her flushed cheeks, her body trembling with the uncontrollable sobs that tried to consume her.

"They'll be living the life you thought you would. They'll have the things you thought you would. They'll be happy while your fucking heart shatters to pieces." She shook her head lightly.

"No one was there for me..." She whispered, so quietly he barely caught it.

She quickly got to her feet, trying to get away before her meltdown became too much to handle, but Jacob was on his feet in seconds, grabbing her arms.

"Leah..." He was at a loss for words, his anger completely forgotten. He never knew she was still in pain; it had been years, how could he not have sensed her feelings before? They shared the same mind for crying out loud!

Then it hit him, he was busy with someone else, he was too caught up in his only little bubble to see anything else.

"You have it easy." She whispered as the sobs quickly started taking over.

"You don't have to see his thoughts, you don't have to see their kisses or touches, and you weren't forced to go to the wedding." She cried.

Her cries came from deep within her soul, they were agonizing and deafening. She had been holding on for years and now, finally, she was letting it all out, she was willing to let someone in and let them see how much torture she was _still_ in. Jacob pulled her into his chest, crushing her with his warmth.

"She had babies Jake." She sobbed harder, rambling about everything she'd held in for so many years. His hold around her waist became tighter. She wrapped her arms around his neck, her head tucked in the crop of his neck, breathing in his scent as she tried to calm down, but it did not work.

"She has everything." She kept going. "I have _nothing_. I'm a thirty-five year old stuck in a twenty year olds body, I want a loving husband Jake, I want children, I want the house with the white picketed fence, I want to grow old, I want to laugh with my grandchildren and tell them stories around the bonfire."

By this point Jacob was crying with her. He was a horrible friend, a horrible Alpha. His best friend, his beta, was hurting and he was never there for her, she was always there for him, _always_, but he never was. He was supposed to be the shoulder to cry on a long time ago, he was supposed to be there for her forever, but he wasn't. He was too consumed with himself, and the Cullens, to notice anything else.

"I'm so sorry Leah." He mumbled into her hair, over and over again.

"Where's my happily ever after?" She whispered, the tears still pouring down her cheeks. Jacob didn't know how to respond to her question, so he picked her up into his strong arms and headed to her house.

_Nothing we say is gonna save us from the fall out. _

_And we know it's never simple, never easy._

_Never a clean break, no one here to save me. _

_You're the only thing I know like the back of my hand, and I can't breathe without you but I have to, breathe without you but I have to._

* * *

**I can relate to Leah, not knowing why things happen, why that person always seems to be happy when your just slowly dying. Ehh, I'm being emo! lol I hope you liked it! I honestly don't know how I changed from Jacob's pain to Leah's... :/ Everything is crazy, but hopefully we'll pull through! **

**I'm really pissed now. My twitter is randomly following people! It's annoying, and if any of you know how to stop this stupid thing PLEASE HELP ME! **

**REVIEWS=LOVE**


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

_And I wonder if I ever cross your mind __  
__for me it happens all the time..._

_Need You Now – Lady Antebellum_

The rain was dancing heavily on the large window, tapping with a lazy speed. They lay tangled together, covered in white sheets and glowing with sweat, Jacob's big rough hands traveled down Leah's naked back. She felt so soft, so smooth... so alive.

They didn't know how long they've been in bed; they didn't care about anything though. Last night was all about feeling. They threw all the pain out the window for a few hours and connected with one another. It was the only way they knew how to forget, because when they were connected there was nothing but thick pleasure lingering the air between them.

But now they just laid together, bundled into one warm ball, touching. Always touching, feeling every curve, every dip, and every scar to every line.

"Why didn't you ever tell me that you were still hurting? Why didn't you come and talk to me?" He asked lightly, breaking the silence.

Leah didn't answer right away. She moved her head that was lying on his bare chest, tilted her chin upwards slightly to look into Jacob's concerned eyes.

"I..." She tried to start, "I don't know. A part of me thinks it's because I didn't want to be a burden to you, and another thinks that if I told you, you would pity me, I would look so weak and stupid. I don't ever want to be looked upon like that, especially by you." She answered honestly, closing her puffy red eyes.

"You'll never look weak or pathetic to me, Leah you're the strongest person I know." Jacob said firmly as he cupped her cheeks, lifting her head upwards.

"Open your eyes?" He asked her.

"Please Leah, please open your eyes." And she did because she would do anything Jacob wanted, because she loved him, for so many long years she had loved him.

"You're just saying that." She whispered, her eyes filled with unshed tears that were just begging to run free.

"I'm not," Jacob said, shaking his head lightly and looking into her eyes.

"For someone who's lost so much, your still here, you're still breathing and kicking. Do you realize how many people would have given up, would of ended their lives?" He asked firmly.

"So many Leah." He answered for her. "You're so strong - stronger than me, stronger than Sam, stronger than everyone. So strong it scares me sometimes." He said as he kissed her forehead and pulled her on top of him.

They stayed that way for a few minutes, just breathing, caressing one another, and once in a while one of them would tightly squeeze the other, as if checking to really see that they're there, that this was real.

"Why does it scare you?" She asked.

Jacob took a deep breath before answering.

"It scares me because you never backed down, you would take anything on without a fear in the world, and you would do whatever you wanted because you're fearless, because you're strong. How do you think that makes me feel?" He asked, but didn't give her time to answer.

"You're my best friend, you're more than my best friend, you're a part of me and when we would fight with vampires or even when you tried to prove yourself to everyone within the pack, you were just as strong, scaring me, because we knew Leah. We knew you were the strongest, mentally and physically. Being so strong meant that you would go into anything head first, I know you; I know that you would never back down. I was scared that maybe you'd get hurt one day, that you wouldn't realize that things could go wrong and I wished, maybe if you weren't so strong, you would have a little fear, you would think before you acted." He finished.

Leah was speechless. She didn't know how to response to what he said. Was he even talking about the right Leah Clearwater? Leah couldn't believe this.

"You don't see yourself clearly Leah." He told her, reading her expressions like an open book.

"I have fears Jacob." She whispered so quietly that he almost couldn't hear.

"What kind of fears?" He asked, and by this point Jacob was in a sitting position, his back against the head board and Leah straddling his lap.

She didn't speak; she just wrapped the blue light blanket tightly around her shoulders, covering her naked body, she wasn't cold, she was scared. As if the covering could hide her.

"It's stupid." She whispered and her golden cheeks were covered in a light peach.

"Nothing you have to say is stupid Leah." He told her, covering her hands with his, rubbing soft circles on her tiny knuckles.

"I'm scared of rejection." She finally whispered and when she did she wished she hadn't, because Jacob wasn't ready to know that she was scared of _his_ rejection, of herself for wanting more. She knew it's been years since she realized she loved him but she couldn't say anything before because of the imprint - he had been happy and she didn't want to ruin his happiness.

But now was her chance to tell him, there was nothing blocking her dreams... physically.

"Nothing! Never mind!" She quickly yelled, mentally slapping herself repeatedly for even thinking that it was appropriate for her to tell him _now_.

He was hurt. The wound was too fresh, it had only been a week or so since that awful night, it was wrong to tell him because she had years to get over Sam and she still wasn't over the whole situation, she was still hurting. It would have been selfish of her to tell him such a thing when she clearly knew that he needed her. She wouldn't make things awkward, she wouldn't chase him away. She would put her feelings aside, just like she has been doing for so many years.

"Tell me." Jacob pressed; trying to bring Leah out of her thoughts.

"Its nothing Jake," She told him and started getting out of bed. "Come on; let's go get something to eat."

"Leah! Come on you have to tell me!" He kept pressing, curious to know why she feared rejection.

"Please Jacob, drop it." She said firmly but yet her voice was so weak, so broken.

Jacob was going to keep asking but stopped when he looked into her eyes, those eyes silenced him. They were so cold and so sad, begging him to just stop, to leave this alone.

"Fine," He said, then whispered; "For now."

Both broken souls got up and took a shower.

Their problems, their broken, hateful emotions tapping along with the rain against the window, knowing that their few hours of pleasure were over.

* * *

**A/N: Yes I know its been forever. I'm just really sick right now. I'm covered in tissues, filled with warm liquids, and drugged up! **

**I forgot to metion last chapter that I personally think I'm not really ready to write smut, so yeah, does this mean no smut at all? No. It all depends on how much I'm comfortable writing.**

**My laptop broke... AGAIN! But I love my laptop, its a few years old, its been really good to me, but I lost ALL my work! I'm so pissed, I had so much one-shots and my new story on that fucking shit. I have to take it in, so meaning the next chapter might take a while. Sorry. **

**Big thanks to my beta!**

**I want to say a big thank you to a reviewer, _3 Chi-Chi ;)_ I LOVE your reviews, their amazing! I so badly wanted to reply back to you but you don't have an account so I couldn't, anyways I hope you see this and I hope you realize how your reviews put a huge smile on my face! **

**Okay peeps have a amazing weekend! **

**IMPORTANT-- TODAY IS EARTH HOUR SO PLEASE TURN SOMETHING OFF! **

**As always,**

**REVIEWS = LOVE!**


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

_Could we fix you if you broke?  
And is your punch line just a joke? _

_And I know that it's complicated  
But I'm a loser in love  
So baby raise a glass to mend  
All the broken hearts  
Of all my wrecked up friends_

_- Speechless – Lady Gaga_

They sat silently on the uncomfortable old chairs across from one another, their elbows on the old small wooden table, slowly eating their meals in the hectic diner. But the loud sounds of the bright lively diner didn't reach her sensitive ears. She didn't hear anything. She wanted to distract herself with the sounds of life, but she couldn't.

The air was full of heavy questions, thoughts, and of course dreadful, unwanted memories.

Questions of the future, of the way everything was going on right now.

How was Leah feeling?

How was Jacob feeling?

What's going on with Seth?

What's going on with Nessie?

And then there was... well, more questions.

Can they get over this?

Why can't they get over this?

How can they get over this?

And then there were even more questions.

Why them?

Why us?

Why me?

Why him?

Why her?

Of course, as if the questions weren't enough pain; they also came with baggage, burdensome baggage like memories.

Bad memories.

Painful memories.

Memories that created unfixable wounds.

Wounds so deep you couldn't even imagine how heartbreaking and troubling they were. But what hurt the most, what caused the most pain for Leah Clearwater were the _words_. The _comments_ and _words_ that changed her forever. Changed her into something she never wanted to be. A person who was so bitter, so lonely, that... there was nothing.

Nothing to talk to, nothing to see, nothing to hear, nothing to touch, nothing to feel, just absolutely nothing.

Nothing at all.

That's how she felt. She was empty, it was so dark inside. She was lost within herself and for years she has been crying, screaming for help, for someone to find her but no one ever did. No one heard her heart-rending sobs. No one listened and even if they did see how much pain she was in, they didn't blink an eye; they just walked away, leaving her dying on the cold, deserted, murky floor, alone. And now her voice was gone. She couldn't cry anymore. She couldn't scream. She just curled up in a loose ball on the ground, silently laying there.

Was she waiting for someone?

Was there still hope?

She didn't know. She didn't think so, because it'd been _so_ long and no one had ever knocked. No one had asked if she was truly fine, no one had come to her rescue. No one was concerned for Leah Clearwater.

So they ate. In silence. No words were exchanged, but the air was full, so crowed it was impossible to ignore.

"Sam once told me that love was like a flower. Beautiful and the scent was heavenly. They lived on the bright warmth of the sun and drank from pure clean water." She whispered into her plate.

Leah's eyes were faraway, she wasn't in the old noisy diner with Jacob Black anymore, she was in that bleak place, lying silently on the ground curled up into a loose ball alone, just like always.

"But flowers die." She said in a bare tone.

She was full of thoughts, full of questions, full of memories it seemed as if she was drowning, and no one was there to save her, to pull her out of the icy water.

"Once a month he would buy me twelve fresh red tulips – they were my favorite, and one fake Cyclamen flower." She said before falling silent, and for a few minutes she didn't say anything for a while.

"He thought that since he gave me a fake flower our love would never die." Leah laughed a sad laugh; the laugh was raw, unappealing, and dreadful. When she stopped the awful noise she turned to face Jacob.

"They say red tulips mean; _believe me, a declaration of love_," She froze. "And Cyclamen flowers mean _goodbye_."

"I never knew that you know. And when I did, it was like a slap across the face. A sick fucking joke." She cringed.

The silence was deafening, the harsh memories and thoughts were piercing her ears and mind, making everything seem soundless, unreal.

"Those flowers," She took a deep breath. "They... I don't know. I think they were a sign that what he and I had could never last. I hate flowers." she added "A lot."

"I hate flowers too," Jacob agreed quickly and grabbed her hand. "Come on, let's get out of here."

They walked, hand in hand, shoulders touching, and the feeling was natural, the feeling was new and warm. This feeling was welcomed. They walked and walked with no direction in mind.

"_She_ never gave me a sign." Jacob whispered, looking straight ahead.

It was obvious that he couldn't even say _her_ name, the flaming ache in his chest was too much.

"Not any that I knew of anyways. She didn't say anything to me, she was normal like she always was. She kissed me, she loved me, she smiled, she talked, she laughed, she did everything perfectly."

He probably didn't notice how tight his grip was on Leah's hand, but if she was in pain he would of never known because it seemed that she didn't mind the way he tightly squeezed her tiny hand.

"She lied to me," Jacob began as he took a seat on one of the benches they were passing, the cold, thin path was empty. "She belittled me. She saw me as an idiot, a fucking blind idiot," He spat. "I believed everything she said to me; I mean why would I ever doubt her? She was my soul mate; I thought this imprint bullshit was both ways. Was she not happy with me? Was she not in love with me, as I was so madly in love with her? I gave her everything I had. My body, my mind, my love, my soul, my heart. But I wasn't enough."

"You were more than enough Jacob, much more." Leah quickly told him.

"I'm not Leah. The person our ancestors or some fucked up shit picked for me doesn't even want me! How much of a failure am I?!" He yelled and got to his feet, he started pacing heavily in front of Leah.

She was speechless. How was she supposed to comfort him when he put it like that?

"Imprinting is bullshit." Leah finally said softly, as she got up too.

"Imprinting is bullshit because it fucked us over. We think imprinting is bullshit because it burned us! I never thought imprinting was so bad a few weeks ago." He yelled at her. His eyes were burning; his tears were just on the edge of exploding.

She just stared at him; she knew he needed to get it all out.

"My other half, my world, my fucking reason of living doesn't want me Leah, I meant _nothing_ to her." He cried, rubbing the big warm palms of his hands roughly on his eyes, turning away from Leah. He was so weak; he didn't want her to see him like this, but it really didn't matter because she already saw it all before.

His tight shoulders were shaking slightly; everything was just too much for him, all the emotions and memories coursing through him hurt so bad, like someone was stabbing his broken heart over and over again.

Leak took a big step forward and wrapped her lean arms around Jacob's waist. She held him tightly as he took deep breaths to calm himself down.

"She's missing out Jacob, not you. She's not worth it. Don't cry over her. She doesn't deserve anything. You're the most amazing person I know. Jacob you have the biggest heart, you care way too much. You saved her life when you had _no_ ties to her; you saved her mother, her family. You're a fucking hero." She talked into his shoulder blades. She placed her chin on his left shoulder and turned her head towards his neck.

"Your one of a kind. You make _me_ want to be better. You make _me_ happy. You make _me_ smile, laugh, and you help _me_ survive. You're important to _me_." She said securely as she placed a searing wet kiss to the side of his neck.

He instantly turned around and crushed her into his warmth, burying his head into her soft black hair, breathing in her intoxicating scent, they held on tightly to one another because what else were they going to do? They weren't going to walk away from one another, because there was possibly no one else who would be able to understand or relate to them, but themselves.

So they held on tightly, because it was them against the world, against a cruel harsh world.

The air was full of questions, thoughts and, of course, memories, but this time there was something else, this time they had a shoulder to cry on, someone who listened, someone who was going to help, and someone who understood.

Because we all need that one person who just knew, that one person who wouldn't walk away.

* * *

**A/N: I had this written a week ago or maybe longer, but I couldn't get a hold of my beta, but when I did she beta-ed this super fast! A big thank you to her! **

**I hope you enjoyed this chapter, I liked the ending...**

**I have school in a few but I'm too lazy to get ready. I was going to post this later on today but I didn't want to make you wait any longer! **

**I just wanted to comment on the fact that reviews are going down! :( I mean, what is going on? How are they dropping? I know there is a lot of you reading this fic, but barely any reviews! So if you don't mind, make my lazy Monday with a review!**


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

_A part of me wants to leave but the other half still believes  
and it kills me to know how much I really love you…_

He sat mutely on the wooden stairs of their calm, petite cottage. The night was too quite, no sign of the living creatures flowing with the soft wind. His throat was tight with the sobs he was choking back; his light brown eyes shiny, puffy and red around the rims, his rough fingers ran through his long, black, tangled hair. He was lost in thought, like he was every cold night, just after midnight.

His head and heart were once again at war.

What he did was wrong. It was unworldly of him. He had hurt everyone around him, even himself and he may have even hurt the person who basically helped cause this problem. He would never ever blame this on her though, not even slightly, let alone fully.

This was both of their choices.

_He said yes. _

_She said yes_.

They both went against what was believed to be soul mates. He loved her, with all his heart. But what he did haunted him. He had harmed his own blood, his own family. In his mind this was utterly unacceptable. It was a sick situation. He had cheated on his best friends, Alpha's and his brother's soul mate. He had lied to Jacob. He had lied to his sister, his beta, his pack. He'd lost his family and it killed him. This _love_ killed him. He'd lost so much. He hurt so much.

"Stop it," She whispered as she sat beside him, curving her thin frame perfectly against his side. Her pale fingers running lightly up his large arms and wide shoulders.

"You regret it, don't you?" She asked softly, her eyes filling up with tears, her hands stopping movement, her breath catching in her throat as she waited for his answer.

"No," Seth stated firmly. She had been asking the same question for the last two weeks but he always answered because he knew Nessie needed to hear it, and maybe deep down he needed to hear himself say it too, they both needed to know that their love was worth it, even though the pain seemed too much to handle.

"I love you Ness." He whispered as he placed his warm, soft lips on her warm forehead, his lips lingering as if emphasizing that he would never lie about his love for her, that his love was true and that even though it felt like he was burning from the inside out it didn't matter, because he loved her.

"I love you too," She smiled lightly but the small smile quickly flew away with the wind, knowing her lover was hurting.

"I never knew you would hurt like this Seth. I wish I could take away the pain." She spoke; her head tilted up slightly, looking into his light brown eyes.

"They're my family. I lost my family. I lost a part of me. That's not easy Ness." He told her, leaning his head on top of hers, once again having the same conversation they seemed to have late every night.

"I know it's not easy, but Seth, you can't keep blaming yourself, just as I can't blame myself because we fell in love… the natural way, like normal people do." She turned her head and kissed his cheek.

"We're not normal Ness." Seth chuckled softly, kissing her lips lightly.

"Well, I am _half_ human, and you're _half_ human too, so yeah." She said quickly, trying to get back to the main idea of this conversation.

"Anyways, I know Leah was your only blood left but now you have me, you have my family, _now_ your family and you know you'll always have them as family. Always." She finished, running her soft pale fingers through his messy hair.

"It's not the same Ness," Seth whispered, "Leah and I have been through everything together. She looked after me when Dad passed away because Mom was too emotionally fucked up to look after herself let alone us. She was there for me when I phased, she kept me safe, kept me in school, kept me fed and made sure I had at least seven hours of sleep. She taught me how to drive, helped with my homework, and helped me impress my first crush. She was there when I needed advice. She was once again there for me when Mom passed away. She always put me first. _Always_." Seth tried to hold in the warm tears that were begging to rain free.

"Because of me she never had a chance to live her life. She didn't go out because she had to watch me, or run patrols, she even sometimes took my patrols because she wanted me to do my homework, to sleep or just hang out with my old friends. She tried so hard to make my life normal. She never thought about her life, about her needs. I was always in the way." Seth's voice creaked; it was getting harder to breathe.

"And then there's Jacob," He continued. "He was my best friend, an older brother I never had. He took me under his wing, took me into his pack, and I… I take away his soul mate; I didn't stab him in the back, I stabbed him in the _heart_, Ness."

"Seth, baby, I understand –" Nessie began but was cut off sharply when Seth instantly stood, body shaking gently.

"You _don't_ understand!" He yelled "You have a bunch of people who love and care and are willing to do anything for you! I only had Leah and Jacob and now they're both gone! She hates my guts. I'm… I'm _dead_ to her. You hear me? I'm _dead_ to them both! The only family I have cut me off!" He choked. Shaking so hard and crying so loudly it pained him to even breathe. He walked away from the front porch; afraid that he might phase.

He fell to his knees after he was a few feet away, shaking brutally. Nessie quietly ran to his side, falling to her knees too, trying to sooth him.

"Ness! Get away!" He spat but she wouldn't budge.

"I might phase!" He yelled, knowing that she could get hurt; she was after all _half_ human, but once again she wouldn't move, stubborn like her mother.

"NESSIE! I'M GOING TO PHASE, _MOVE_!" He roared and in a blink of an eye she moved, just in time because Seth was already a giant beast. He was still, breathing deeply, his large eyes had a faraway look in them, as if he was trying to see or remember something or maybe as if he was urgently looking for something, someone. After a good hour of just standing like a frozen statue he howled with so much pain, his heart felt like it was being forcefully tugged apart.

"Seth!" Nessie yelled with concern as she saw his furry body fall to the ground.

"Seth?" She whispered softly, through the tears as she ran her fingers through his fur, trying frantically to calm him down.

These conversations had never gone this far before. He had never phased before. He had never looked so… so _defeated_.

She used her gift, showing him soothing pictures, the pleasant times they shared. It was working and slowly he phased back to his human form. He was breathing heavily. His bare chest was on top of Nessie, she felt his heart beating so quickly she started worrying, his head buried in the crop of her neck, she felt his warm deep breath on her skin. The feeling caused her whole body to shiver.

"Baby? Baby are you okay?" She asked, still running her fingers through his hair and over his bare back.

"It's so quiet in _there_," Seth whispered.

"There's no one _there_." He cried; the reality of losing his sister and his Alpha finally settling in and it burned, it _burned_ like fucking hell.

The thought that there was no one in his head anymore _killed_ him, ripping away at his heart. This pain was unbearable but there was nothing he could do. He was in love. Even though it _killed_ him, even though his heart _burned_ with every beat, even though his breath seemed to grow _heavier_ and shorter, even though losing the one person he swore he would never _hurt_, never _leave_, and never _let go of _was gone, drove him _insane._

There was no way out.

For the first time in a long time Seth Clearwater was on his own.

No more Leah.

No more Jacob.

No more anyone.

He was alone in _there_.

_But I love him  
But some things I just can't stand  
I've gotta be out my mind  
To think it's gonna work this time  
A part of me wants to leave but the other half still believes  
and it kills me to know how much I really love you…_

_It Kills Me – Melanie Fiona_

* * *

Hi guys! I know it's has been forever. I'm honestly sorry. I'm just super busy. If I'm not at a doctor's appointment I'm either in school, trying to deal with end of the year assignments, getting ready for exams, or in pain. Recently I have been to about 4 appointments in only 2 weeks! You know how boring and annoying that is? I'm so sick of doctors. I'm sick of appoinments. If you follow me on Twitter you would know what I'm talking about. I usually complain and tweet about my day there.

So this chapter was suppose to be happy, cause I've been writing a lot of sad and angsty goodness for this fic... but as you can see I couldn't do the fluff. I just love angst, but I actually went back and edited a few things because it was too angst! Some of you right now might be mad cause it's a Seth and Nessie chapter BUT before you complain I asked in the note before what you guys wanted, and some people sent me PMs asking for Seth and Nessie, there was about only 1 or 2 people who wanted Jake and Lee, but don't worry we will be going back to them next chapter!

I want to thank everyone who voted! Thank you. Thanks for the PM, thank you for the get well soon and just everything. You guys are amazing. You can still vote (voting is open till June!), please go to my profile for the link!

Big thanks to my beta for fixing this up!

And... other than that have a great weekend! I know I will, I actually have a BBQ dinner tonight and a birthday party tomorrow! Let's drink! LOL

As always,

REVIEWS = LOVE


	10. Chapter 10

**Please, please, please read the A/N at the end of this chapter.**

* * *

Chapter 10

_Can anybody help me?_

_I'm outta plans._

_Guess I left my world in somebody's hands._

_I don't like to hurt but, but everyone gets weak,_

_Someone to rely on that's what I really need._

_Now here we stand, it's all that we're worth,_

_I've been through the pain and been dragged through the dirt._

_Whatever they tell you, were bigger than words._

_I've been where you're standing, I know how it hurts._

_Let this be a song now and this be our day,_

_And we stand together, we'll be okay_

_Cause we're survivors, we're making it work._

_Expecting the best when they hope for the worst._

The midnight sky of La Push was clear, the stars winking brightly, and the wind blowing lightly.

"Come on in!" His voice was so rough and loud, as he looked up to the surprised young woman who thought she would never see that warm welcoming smile again.

"Jacob! Have you lost your mind? I'm not coming in! The water must be freezing!" Leah yelled back, shaking her head slightly, and a small smile dancing on her thin dry lips.

It was nice to see Jacob laughing and smiling, his mood just made her feel better, made her all soft and warm inside. His small innocent nature was like a drug, reaching to her broken heart and giving it a taste of what happiness truly was, these past few weeks have been nothing but tiring because they were both emotionally drained from all the baggage they had to carry around.

So in this very moment, as the soft wind danced around their laughter, and the cold waves tugged at their warmth, the two young wolves were going to set down their heavy baggage on the cold white sand and pretend that in this moment there are no such things as broken hearts; salty, unbearable tears, and the pain of being left behind; the pain of love. Tonight was their night to pretend.

"Oh, come on Lee!" He called with a grin, "You're seriously complaining about cold water when your temperature is around 108 degrees?" He laughed lightly; the waves faintly slamming into his tall and muscular body.

She couldn't hold back anymore, she giggled into the chilly night wind and started swiftly removing her clothing. When she was bare, she started dashing to the shore. She reduced her speed when she neared the edge, the cool water greeting her feet, and she shivered with a small smile that was still dancing on her thin tired face. She looked down at her feet, the water was so clear that she could see her feet so clearly. This action, this image, caused her to still and just breathe in deeply. She smelt the pungent, salty water and the crisp fresh white lilies that were a few yards away, the scents attacking her insides, leaving a breezy clean feeling.

She looked back to Jacob, and he was just staring at her. His eyes glazed over, his face showing no emotion. She entered the water slowly. When the icy water was up to her knees, she took a deep breath and quickly dived in; it was easier to get use to the cold water this way.

When Leah resurfaced she slowly swam to Jacob's left side. They both faced towards the white sand, their alert eyes taking in the deep green wood surrounding them. Neither spoke, they didn't need too. It was one of those moments where talking didn't seem to be enough, where words were nothing but noise.

There's this electricity in the air, you can almost hear it sizzling loudly. The wind picked up and the waves are starting to dance around their bodies again. They stayed still, not talking, not looking at one another, just feeling the calm around them, but there's something there. It's so powerful. It's like their souls are swimming around in the water. Their hearts beat heavily and their insides start to burn. They both look up into the sky and it's so fucking beautiful, the black sky, the smiling stars, the cold water, just a whole moment of silence and calm, both overwhelming and beautiful.

Jacob, whose still looking at the yellow stars grabs Leah's hand under the water without a word. She doesn't flinch, because this feels so right, so lovely.

Leah pulls Jacob underwater with her and she starts humming this song that just seems to fit their mood. Jacob watches her with eyes full of wonder; he wraps his long arms around her thin waist and pulls her in, so close that they can feel each other's hearts beating rapidly. Leah leans her head down to Jacob's warm chest as she continues to hum.

Her humming sends vibrations through his entire body and he starts laughing carelessly. Leah just looks up at him with an enormous smile on her face, and he notices for the first time that she has a deep right dimple. He feels a stabbing pain in his heart, but this is a different pain, one which he has never felt before. As he stares into Leah's soft brown eyes and listens to her start singing lightly he realizes the reason behind the pain and is once again hit with that sharp pang.

It's because of Leah Clearwater.

It's because of what he has missed.

The little things that he never knew before:

How she has a deep dimple on her right cheek.

How she can actually sing.

How she has to sleep on the right side of the bed.

How she needs two pillows to be able to fall asleep.

How much she cares about him

How much she loves him.

He starts wondering what would have happened if everything was different and he wonders what's going to happen between them. He wonders if there ever will be something between them, because he's so damaged, so broken, and he knows that Leah deserves better.

He knows that he can't love her fully, because there will always be a place in his broken heart that will belong to Nessie. It's hers. His love for Nessie will never die.

He knows that Nessie doesn't want him.

He knows that Nessie doesn't need him.

He knows that Nessie doesn't love him.

He knows all this, but his heart, his soul, will always, in some small way, belong to her.

He has no choice.

He never did.

And as he starts to frown, and his eyes start to burn, he notices that Leah stops singing and her eyes fill with worry, she's about to ask him if he's okay, but before she does Jacob pulls her fiercely into his warm chest, he holds her tightly.

She's confused and worried, but she says nothing, because she doesn't know what to say.

A few more seconds pass with no sound and Jacob tugs Leah's head upwards and looks into her eyes.

"Please keep singing." He whispered tenderly,

And she does.

She sings the song that fits their mood so perfectly.

_One love, this is the way we found._

_One love, even though they'll let you down._

_One love, nobody's perfect now._

_One love, don't let that hold you down._

_One love, let's stick together now._

_One love, we got to stand our ground._

_One love, it's easy to believe in._

_One love, believe in you and me, one love._

_Now I could try and fix this all by myself,_

_But I know it'd turn out better if you help._

One Love – David Guetta ft. Estelle

* * *

**Hey guys, I know it's been a long time. But I swear to you that I have tried so hard to update. This chapter was very hard for me to write, I feel like my writing is taking a whole new style and I'm just trying to wrap my mind around it. I think I like it though. How about you, do you like it?**

**It's time to get down to business. Firstly, I want to thank everyone for the wonderful reviews last chapter! It's summer time. Meaning I have been out a lot, hanging with some friends and such, but you won't believe what has been holding me back from writing – my brother is finally getting engaged! He has been with his girlfriend for 5 to 6 years! And now their finally tying the not! Because of this very big event my house hold and social life has been crazy! We're having dinners and parties and all sorts of things. So this is why it has taken me a long time! I'm sorry. But my family and such are going to come first. Writing is going to have to take a back seat.**

**I'm sorry for all of you who keep asking when a new update will be because I honestly don't know when or how I'll update. Please be patient.**

**Enough of the boring news let me tell you guys about the happy and good things!**

**I passed my G1 test – if you're Canadian you'll know what I'm talking about. But if you're not well it means I can drive! YAAAAY!****I bought my new Blackberry Bold! I love it so fucking much!****There is a 90% chance that I will be going traveling to Europe in August! I'm so excited! ****And lastly – GERMANY is going to win the cup babyyyy! **

**That's about it, I'm going to go hit the gym and the pool! Bye peeps! Have a great week everybody and don't forget –**

**Reviews = Love!**


	11. Chapter 11

**Important A/N at bottom of chapter.**

* * *

Chapter 11

_People think a soul mate is your perfect fit, and that's what everyone wants. But a true soul mate is a mirror, the person who shows you everything that is holding you back, the person who brings you to your own attention so you can change your life._

_A true soul mate is probably the most important person you'll ever meet, because they tear down your walls and smack you awake. But to live with a soul mate forever? Nah. Too painful. Soul mates, they come into your life just to reveal another layer of yourself to you, and then leave._

_A soul mates purpose is to shake you up, tear apart your ego a little bit, show you your obstacles and addictions, break your heart open so new light can get in, make you so desperate and out of control that you have to transform your life…_

— _Elizabeth Gilbert — Eat, Pray, Love_

She sings for him, she sings so lightly.

He holds her, he holds on so tightly.

The wind blows; she cries cheerless songs into the night.

The water dances, she tries washing away the pain.

The bright stars blink, trying to blink away the tears of sorrow.

The trees whine softly into the weeping wind, and the animals slowly fall asleep, unaware of the broken souls, in the deep dark sea.

It's a sober moment. A quiet moment. A sad moment.

The world keeps spinning, the black night keeps darkening. Time wasn't going to stop for them. The world wasn't going to stop for them. No one was going to put their life on hold for them. That's just how life is. Because when you fall down, when you're hurt, no one can truly help you out except yourself. It's your choice. Only you can help yourself, you need to take the first step on your own; no one can hold your hand.

And so Leah Clearwater and Jacob Black were at this stage. They both had bleeding wounds, it didn't matter if it was an old or new wound – what mattered is that it's still there. It was still harshly pumping out blood; it was still burning them alive. And now slowly, with time, the wound doesn't heal. It drains them and takes away their energy, leaving them in sour, sad moods. Their ruined hearts slowly killing them alive.

"Jake," Leah whispers into his neck, still in his tight embrace. "I'm never going to leave you. I'm always going to be here for you." She told him, she knew he needed the reassurance because of the way he held her so close; because of the way he brays his nose into her wet locks, breathing in her deeply, as if he felt like a broken, lost cause.

"I need you to understand Jacob," Leah said firmly, cupping his cheeks, making sure he looked her in the eyes. "I need you to understand that there will never be anything, or anyone, that will take me away from you. I'm always going to be there, and only you can push me away. Only you can tell me that you don't need me anymore." She whispers to him, mentally finishing her speech, '_You're one of the two people on this entire planet that can completely and utterly kill me_.'

Her heart beat quickens as she realizes all the power that he has over her, not because she thought he would use and toss her aside, not because she thought he would be so careless with her, but because he was one of those people that could make or break her.

And the thing is, the punch line of this harsh realization is that he doesn't even know.

He doesn't know that he, Jacob Black could possibly be the last straw.

That he could kill Leah Clearwater.

Or that he could cure her.

How could he know though? He was wrapped around in his own problems, in his own pain.

And no one but Leah Clearwater could understand what Jacob felt, what Jacob needed.

He needed someone there.

He needed to know that someone, that _she,_ would always be there for him, that no one could get in the way of what she felt towards him, that no one could get in the way of what she wants to be for him.

She wants to be his escape.

"How long are you willing to wait Leah?" He asks softly, afraid of her answer.

"Forever," She answers with passion, an emotion which flows strongly throughout her entire body.

"What if you want to give up? What if you're tired? What if you can't take it anymore? What if you want to leave me? What if you want to move on without me?" Jacob asks frantically.

"I can't promise you that I won't get mad, that I won't want to scream and cry my eyes out, that there won't be days where all I want to do is just walk away, or to just need space, to be left alone, because that's always the easiest answer. To quit trying, to quit feeling, to quit moving on is always the easiest answer."

Jacob's heart quickens and his breath hitches, his insides flipping and burning holes.

"I'm done, I'm done avoiding my problems, and I'm done pretending that I'm fine, when it's painfully obvious that I'm not." Leah states. She cups Jacob's cheeks again.

"I can't be this way anymore. That's why I promise you that I'll be there, through it all. We can do it, we can do this together. It's time to start fixing ourselves, time to start living again."

"Do you hear me Jake?" She starts laughing loudly, Jacob's confused with her sudden change of mood, but he can't help feeling amazed by this beautiful creature, so he laughs with her, because when he sees her light up, he can't help but feel her warmth.

"I'm done!" Leah yells into the wind, into the water, into the stars, into the night.

Jacob cups Leah's cheeks, and slowly pulls her close. He looks into her shiny eyes and presses his lips to hers and this kiss isn't their first kiss ever, but this kiss, is one only first time lovers can feel, can understand.

This kiss is the start of something new.

* * *

**Hey everyone! I know it has been over a month, a very busy month. This would have been up sooner but my fucking Internet was being a bitch! I had to spend an hour on the phone with Bell, trying to fix it, and now it's working!**

**I'm going to cut to the chase and say that I honestly did not think I would be able to write this because of how busy and crazy everything has been. **

**I'm leaving on Monday, I'm going to Turkey for three weeks with my mother and future sister-in-law! I'm excited but also dead tired. I have a waxing appointment tomorrow at 8 am, than I have a dentist appointment at 2 pm, than Friday I have a spa appointment. Saturday is the big engagment party, and finally Sunday I get to sleep before I hop on a 12 hour flight Monday!**

**I still need to pack, and I really need to sleep!**

**A big thank you to my beta!**

**And a big thank you to you readers! I love all the reviews, and I'll talk to you all after I come back!**

**As always,**

**Reviews = love!**


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12

_Well it was just a dream just a moment ago,  
I was up so high, looking down at the sky,  
don't let me fall.  
I was shooting for stars on a Saturday night,  
they say what goes up must come down,  
but don't let me fall.  
Don't let me fall.  
Don't let me fall._

_Don't Let Me Fall – B.O.B_

"You need time. I understand. I said it from the start Jacob, I need time too." Leah said with a sigh, breaking the long silence and facing him from across the old wooden table, finishing up her breakfast.

He lifted his troubled head off the wooden table, his thoughts unclear, so unclear that nothing made sense anymore.

It was one of those feelings you get when you wake up some days from the pain you have suffered from years ago, but you can't let go of it and you don't know why but you just can't and it kills you because it doesn't make sense. It never does; this pain.

_Never._

_Why am I here?_ You start asking yourself.

_Why do I feel this way?_

_Why can't I smile?_

And you look in the mirror.

You don't _see_ anything.

Just a shadow of who you were.

But you don't even know who you were.

You try to think but nothing makes sense anymore.

And this, this was how Jacob felt.

He couldn't seem to look her in the eye.

It was too difficult to look into those bright eyes, because she was waiting for him, he knew she was, even though she said she wasn't.

They were just words that were pouring out of her moist lips, as she took a sip from her freshly squeezed orange juice. She practiced those words, repeating them constantly to him. She knew those words like a prayer. She didn't feel those words. She didn't believe those words.

He knew.

It's all so clear.

But he accepted them.

He would always accept them.

He just couldn't seem to let go of all those wet bags of sand that sat permanently on his weak body. It had been weeks, months, ever since _she_ left him, but yet the pain felt so new, so _fresh_. It ate at his insides, it burned his soul. He felt like he was going to lose his mind, but this beautiful creature sitting in front of him in a white wooden chair, her black hair in a messy bun, his over sized white shirt coming down to her mid-thighs. Her skinned sun-kissed, glowing, so natural, so beautiful, and those eyes, _damn_ those eyes saw right through him.

How did she do that?

How could she just read him and figure him out so quickly?

It blew his mind how well she knew him.

"Stop," She whispers. He looks up, finally, into those damn eyes and she knows what he's thinking.

She's always known.

What to say.

How to say it.

When to say it.

He felt like he didn't deserve her.

She was too good to him.

Too good for him.

She wouldn't let him fall.

But did she not know that what goes up must come down?

She gets up from her seat, and walks behind him; she wraps her long lean arms around his shoulders.

"Stop," She repeats, and leaves a warm kiss on his left cheek. "Now, get up, and let's go out."

Driving was probably one of Leah's favourite things to do. It was easy for her. Every since her life turned upside down at a young age, and everything just kept going downhill she would jump into her car and just speed away.

Away from the pain.

The suffering.

The craziness that was her life.

Away from everything.

Her window would be all the way down and the wind would dance with her hair.

She didn't know where she was going.

She didn't know where she would end up.

She didn't care.

Jacob leaned back into his seat, eyes shut, letting the clean air cleanse his insides and letting the sun warm his skin that felt so _heavy_.

His body felt _heavy_.

His head felt _heavy_.

His heart felt _heavy_.

Everything, from the crown of his head to his feet felt heavy, unbearable, vague, and uncontrollable.

Everything was _wrong_.

He was _wrong_.

_Wrong_ to think that he could make it out of this alive.

But there was nothing he can do but try with whatever there was remaining in his bruised soul and beaten heart to fight.

To fight for his life back.

To fight for her, the only reason that had been keeping him alive, the only one that would not give up.

_For Leah_.

"Where are we going?" He asked, turning his lazy head towards her. She turned to him, smiling softly, "You'll see," she says, her eyes dancing with excitement.

"What are you up to Lee?" He says through a smile.

Half of his heart warming, and the other half numb, frozen and broken, incomplete, darkened; burnt out from the heat, from the never ending pain.

"Nothing," She answers and Jacob could see the glimmer in her eyes.

He says nothing and just relaxes back into his seat, closes his eyes and dozes off.

* * *

**Hey guys, yes I know it's been a long time.**

**The last time I posted a chapter was when I was leaving for Europe. My trip was great, and really warm! **

**When I came back school became a big problem, because I had so many classes going on. After it cooled down for a bit (Winter Break) my family and I planned a trip to the Bahamas. It was very beautiful and I had a great time. **

**But something came up, something so heartbreaking for me. My grandfather passed away, and I'm still trying to live with the fact that he's gone. He was a very special man and I hope he rests in peace. This is the first time that I've lost someone so close to me. And I guess when you're young, you expect that your loved ones will always be there for you. ****But it's not true. And it's hard, really fucking hard to move on, and realize that you'll never see them again.**

**Now, I barely got this chapter out. It was slow, because I haven't been in the mood to write. It's really not something I'm proud of, it's lacking for me, but I just wanted to get _something _out. **

**I hope you enjoyed it.**

**As always,**

**Reviews = love!**


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